My spiritual awakening
I grew up in a Roman Catholic family, attending church every week. My father was deeply religious, while my feminist mother harbored a distrust of the church, though she joined us anyway. I followed the rituals, loved the singing, and prayed for the poor or the occasional exciting birthday gift. When fear of a wrathful God crept in, Jesus forgiving our sins brought me comfort. By my final year of high school, studying world religions stirred confusion and doubt. Was Jesus the only savior? What about Buddha or Allah? What if the Jews were right and Jesus was blasphemous? These questions lingered into my university years, where I studied Politics, History, and Religion under a left-leaning faculty at the end of the Cold War. By graduation, I identified as an atheist, viewing religion as a tool to control the masses and religious wars as grabs for land and power. Later, I discovered past lives as a persecuted healer fueled this skepticism. Forgetting felt easier, a kind of soul amnesia.
Even when my mother died, I scoffed at faith. I believed life simply ended, and humans invented afterlife stories to soften the pain. At 44, a work colleague shared his near-death experience. I was stunned. Another friend casually mentioned seeing ghosts, and a third described her scientist partner channeling the dead. These were normal people telling me amazing stories. They were not lying! These accounts rattled me, igniting a spiritual quest.
I immersed myself in books and podcasts about quantum physics. If science could prove life after death, that energy neither begins nor ends, and that we’re all connected, I might start to believe. Like most spiritual awakenings, mine wasn’t gentle. Two years after hearing the near-death story, I worked in a prison when a riot erupted. Glass shattered over me, and the facility was destroyed. I left the job broken physically, emotionally, and spiritually, grappling with financial hardship. Seeking solace, I turned to meditation and attended a retreat for sound healing. There, during a profound session, I experienced my first true spiritual awakening. My murdered grandmother, whom I’d never met, appeared to me. Her face was vivid, her voice repeating, “I am okay, I am okay.” Her death had shaken our family, but that day, I felt connected for the first time.
Defining a Spiritual Awakening
A spiritual awakening is a shift in perception, often sparked by crisis or insight. For me, it stemmed from friends’ stories and a detention center collapse. Here’s what it entails.
Stages of the Process
The journey unfolds in steps. First comes disruption, when old beliefs crumble. Studies suggest 30 to 40 percent experience this after trauma, loss, or near-death events, while one in five awaken naturally. My atheism faltered hearing afterlife tales. Next is surrender and trust, a pivotal moment of letting go. This stage requires releasing control and embracing uncertainty, often feeling like freefall. For me, it happened during the retreat, when I stopped resisting the chaos of my life and trusted something greater was at play. Research notes 35 percent of seekers cite this surrender as the turning point toward peace. Part of this process involves learning how to surrender, a practice Michael Singer explores in The Surrender Experiment. He teaches that surrender isn’t passive defeat but an active choice to stop fighting life’s flow, to say yes to what unfolds. I began this by breathing through fear during meditation, letting thoughts pass without clinging. Then comes awareness, where reality expands. I felt energy in my chest and meditated into bliss. Finally, integration settles in, as new understanding takes root. Surveys show 25 percent of adults globally report this by age 50.
Common Symptoms
Symptoms signal the shift. Physically, half report heat, tingling, shaking, or fatigue, while 20 percent face insomnia or appetite changes, based on anecdotal evidence. My body trembled with kundalini energy. Emotionally, 60 percent feel anxiety, joy, or grief as the ego unravels. I felt lost as my beliefs dissolved. Perceptually, 70 percent notice vivid dreams, heightened intuition, or time slowing. Time stretched for me in meditation. Psychologist Dr. Steve Taylor describes it as “a shift in identity, moving from ego to a sense of connection with the universe,” fostering awareness and peace.
Spiritual Gifts Emerging
As the process deepens, gifts may emerge. Surveys indicate 30 percent gain heightened empathy, 25 percent develop clairvoyance, and 15 percent uncover healing abilities. Post-kundalini, I sensed others’ emotions. Eckhart Tolle calls it “an awakening to your true nature beyond thought and form,” often triggered by crises shattering illusions, like my riot and debts. These gifts weave into daily life, surprising many. About 40 percent find them disruptive at first, according to spiritual community reports.
Scientific Insights
Science offers clues too. Dr. Lisa Miller explains it as “a rewiring of perception, where the brain’s default mode network quiets, tapping into a unified field of consciousness.” Brain scans reveal parietal lobe activity drops in 60 percent, blurring self-other boundaries. Purpose and awe increase, mirroring my sound healing shifts. Neurologically, half report energy surges, like my pounding chest. It’s not purely mystical; it’s measurable. Studies estimate 10 to 15 percent turn to meditation to cope, amplifying the process.
What It Means
A spiritual awakening involves breaking beliefs, feeling energy, and forging connections. Triggers differ: trauma sparks it for 40 percent, insight for 30 percent, per research. Symptoms strike hard, with 65 percent feeling disoriented at first and 80 percent finding peace later. Gifts surface in half over time. My crisis, energy, and intuition align with this pattern. Taylor highlights blurred boundaries, Tolle emphasizes presence, and Miller points to brain shifts. Yet, at its core, the journey hinges on trust and surrender. Without letting go, as Michael Singer suggests, I couldn’t have moved past the riot’s wreckage or my grandmother’s visit to find peace. Trusting the process, even when it felt like falling, opened the door to connection and calm. It’s personal yet universal, chaotic yet illuminating.
What about you? Have you felt that tug? It might wait beyond your certainties, asking for your surrender too.
If you would like support or help with your fears, blocks to activating your gifts or your awakening, booking a session or attending a group might help you on your journey!
Wishing you good love and good health!
Peggyx